“Showing up correct”, (as my friend Michelle likes to say) is
hard HARD. Showing up honest and vulnerable is difficult. It’s possible some people won’t relate to this (hey…those aren’t my people anyways 😉 ), but I think it’s more likely that many people will identify with where I am.
Not physically, but mentally.
Living in a world full of ‘more’ is tiring. I feel like in all my worlds the ‘more’ you have the better. The more money. The bigger the house. The nicer the car. The better the camera. The cuter the clothes. I think you get the picture…
While spending money hasn’t been the biggest challenge for me (I’m not worried about keeping up with the Joneses most of the time), I still get feelings of inadequacy on the regular. Being happy and content with where I am is HARD for me to do. Really. Hard.
Am I working hard enough?
Maybe if I just work harder that will get me to where I need to be?
Am I doing enough to have a successful career?
Maybe if I am more organized I’ll be more efficient with my time?
Am I even good at this? Should I be doing something else?
Why didn’t that client book me?
Is my boss happy with my progress?
How can I possibly fit everything I NEED to do into today AND do it well?
Do you ever say any of these things to yourself? Because I do on the regular…
You see, I’m super type A and I love goals. I wrote yesterday all about my crazy internal dialogue. Don’t pretend like you don’t have them…
I am constantly pushing myself to the limits. I always want to learn more, take on new challenges, and improve who I am. This is a good thing. This is one of my biggest strengths, and I’m thankful for that. But this is also one of my biggest weaknesses. This can be debilitating at times.
Any of my Type A friends feel me on this one?!?!
This pushing myself to the limits sort of person that I am can be incredibly frustrating for me at times. About once a month I have a moment where I feel utterly in a daze and get irritated that I get myself into this place. WHAT AM I DOING?!?!
When I take a step back, I also realize this is hard for those I’m closest to. Trust me, sitting at a table alone writing ‘just one more blog post’ while your partner watches a movie alone is not fun. Hanging out with your friends, but being consumed by your own thoughts is tiring. Being so caught up in your own head thinking of your To Do lists to the point where you can’t sleep is not fun. Getting sick and having your stress amplify your autoimmune disease is not good. I’m not proud of this list.
This is not a good place to be in, and I know it.
What does this all come down to???? I am not content.
The idea of contentment is hard. Being content where you are. Being content with what you have. Being content with your heart. Being content with your progress. This is a struggle.
The idea of being content is difficult for me (as you’ve surely picked up by now). I’m not sure that I’ve ever really felt content with where I am in life. Ever. Yes…I just said that. So…
One of the most inspiring women I know created a little thing called The Contentment Challenge (P.S. – I recommend checking out her guidelines and journey through this process. It’s truly inspiring.).
I will give up shopping for clothes, accessories, household decor, and “stuff” for 3 months to focus on my heart and min on the root of true contentment. I will actively pursue fulfilling activities that will replace my addiction to material things.
While Nancy‘s focus is mostly on giving up shopping for material things, which I also intend to do, I would like to focus more on growing a content mind (since this is my biggest problem).
As I start this challenge, I’m preparing my heart and really thinking about what a content heart looks like to me.
If this is something you struggle with (material things or mentally), I encourage you to check out The Contentment Challenge and think about if this is something you could benefit from.
Who’s with me?!?! I’d love for you to join me in doing my version of The Contentment Challenge, or Nancy’s, or your own!
Each day this week, instead of focusing on all the pretty of the photography world, I’d like to focus on being content and setting up The Contentment Challenge to start on October 1st! Each day I’ll leave a series of questions or notes that I’m thinking about before I start this challenge next month!
What does contentment mean to you?
Are you content where you are, right now?
Does your happiness lie in a goal you are hoping to achieve?
What does a content life look like?
Where do you find yourself today, at the start of this challenge?
I feel like good (and hard) things are ahead of us y’all!